


Sins of Past Futures

by IWroteAFanficOnce



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Depression, Multi, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-28 05:24:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6316288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IWroteAFanficOnce/pseuds/IWroteAFanficOnce
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the wake of of the Fell Dragon’s defeat Morgan has been afflicted with the memories of her actions during the darker timeline. Struggling to forget her terrible deeds while in service to Grima, the tactician finds herself wanting to leave behind those she hold the dearest.</p>
<p>My entry into the 'Fire Emblem: Brave New World' anthology. Make sure to pick it up already if you haven't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sins of Past Futures

_Thunder rattled the sky as rain flooded the earth. Flashes of lightning reflected off Morgan's axe, Hauteclere, as she streaked across the battlefield on the back of her wyvern, leaving only death in her wake. She easily felled Ylissean soldiers with a single stroke, but they weren't her targets, only fodder. Chrom and his allies, who had come from a distant time, opposed her as well. Even her father, her masters sleeping form, stood against her. But it mattered not, for she would strike him down as Grima so desired._

_Their numbers were nothing before her might. She cleaved her way through their ranks in no time at all. Finally, she locked her gaze on the four individuals that dared to stand against her and her master's dreams of conquest._

_Inigo._

_Owain._

_Yarne._

_Brady._

_Former friends of her. Now? Only obstacles._

_In one pass, she knocked Inigo into the ravine, condemning his fate to the waters below before making short work of Brady. She wheeled her mount around and struck down the defenseless Taguel before bearing down on her final target, Owain._

_The swordsman attempted to defend himself, to deflect the blow, but his battle with the army of Risen had worn him and his weapon down. His blade shattered under the weight of Morgan's strike as her axe cleaved him in twain._

_With the last of her high priority targets defeated, a crooked smile spread across Morgan's lips.. She held her axe skyward as she let out a cry of victory. "All glory for Grima!" Lightning cracked overhead, the flash illuminating her face, and upon Morgan's lips was a crazed smile._

* * *

Morgan awoke with a scream. She clutched her head in pain as she tried to shake her nightmare away. "Not again," she said, on the verge of tears.

But Morgan would not be able to shake off these nightmares because they were not dreams. These were memories of an alternate time, a time where the kingdom of Ylisse would be doomed to fall before the might of the Fell Dragon, Grima, and his horde of Risen.

Morgan had tried banging her head against a post in an attempt to rid herself of the painful memories. She looked to sleeping spells to grant her a full night's rest. The young tactician had even dared to seek Tharja's curses to free her from their hellish grip. None worked. Each night, she would be visited by the horrors she had committed in that timeline.

"Morgan!" Brady said, bursting into her room. He rushed to her bedside and pulled her into a tight hug. "Easy, I've got you," he said gently. "You're okay. We're all safe. It's alright."

Morgan froze in his arms. She craned her head slowly upwards until she could meet Brady's eyes. She turned pale for a moment, the memory of his death flashing through her mind. She heard the crack of thunder and the sound of her axe tearing him apart.

Morgan screamed again as she struggled in his grip. "Let me go! Let me go!" she cried as she kicked and screamed.

"I'm not letting you go," Brady said, holding his grip, as he was met with a barrage of tiny fists.

Slowly, Morgan's energy wore out andshe cried into boy's robes. "B-but you died! I killed you! I killed Inigo, Yarne and Owain even. It's all my fault...it's all my fault."

"It's not your fault," he assured, as he stroked her hair. "Relax, you need to rest," Brady added as he laid her back down to rest.

"But I did horrible things," Morgan said, covering her puffy eyes. "Such horrible things! Why can't I just forget these memories?"

Brady bit his lip. He didn't have the words to comfort her or tell her that it was unfair that she got stuck with a bad deal. All he could do was stroke her hair and say what he always did, "It'll be okay," he promised. "We'll protect you. Grima can't get to you now."

Slowly but surely, the strategist seemed to be lulled into a slumber. But for how long would she have uninterrupted rest? Only time could tell.

A light rapping came upon Morgan's chamber door. "Your watch is over," came Lucina's regal voice. She stood in the doorway, wearing plain clothes. There were bags forming under her eyes, as if she had barely been getting any sleep herself. "How is she doing?" she asked, striding over to look upon Morgan's slumbering form.

"Same as always," Brady said, with a yawn. "But I...I don't think she's getting any better."

"It's understandable," Lucina said, crossing her arms. "What Grima did to her...and the other Morgan, was cruel. I can't imagine the guilt she feels from what she was made to do."

"Speaking of..." Brady began, looking up at Lucina with a discerning eye. "What about you? How have you been holding up?"

Lucina took a moment to gather herself, her finger momentarily digging into her arms. "Better," she finally said. "Maybe fighting alongside father and the others helped. But honestly..." Lucina sighed as she tucked a stray blue lock behind her ear. "Anything is better than that hell we had to live through."

"Yeah," Brady says with a chuckle. "Like waking up from a bad dream."

"Nightmare is more like it," Lucina added and shuddered at the memories.

"It's weird," Brady said as he slumped on his stool, his posture more thuggish than saintly. "Remembering yourself and everyone around you dying, 'specially when your killer is asleep right in front of you."

"Brady!" Lucina thumped the back of his head.

"I know, I know," he whined. "That Morgan and this Morgan are different people. She had about as much control over herself then as she does over the dreams she has now." He sighed again. "So don't worry, I'm not gonna go around pointing fingers."

Lucina let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you. She has it hard enough already," she said, smiling at Morgan's resting form. "Now get some rest, I can take watch from here."

With only a nod, Brady exited the room, leaving Lucina to guard Morgan from her fiendish dreams. But little did they know, their tactician friend never truly returned to sleep. With eyes shut and back to her friends Morgan lay awake, fearing that if she closed her eyes, her nightmares would only return.

When morning came, Lucina would wake to find herself alone. The tactician she was supposed to watch over? Long gone.

* * *

"I'm sorry everyone..." Morgan said as she looked back at the castle, the once prominent building now no more than a speck on the horizon. For a moment, her heart wavered. She wondered if what she was doing was the right choice.

_Killer._

The word rang in Morgan's head and her stomach twisted into knots. No, this was her _only_ choice, she thought. This was the only decision she could make to save her friends from those horrible memories of a darker future. With her gone, they would not have to watch over the one that had sent so many of them to their deaths.

Morgan was just about to take another step when she caught sight of something soaring just below the clouds. She could just make out the shape of flapping wings. For something that large to be flying away from the castle, it could only be a Pegasus and Morgan had a pretty good idea who the rider could be.

"Gods no," Morgan grumbled. The tactician looked around herself, searching for cover. But all there was nothing more than fields of grass. She took the only chance she could and sank to the ground, hoping to be mistaken for nothing more than an addition to the scenery. "Don't see me. Please, don't see me," she repeated like a mantra.

The Pegasus flew overhead and for the moment, it looked as if Morgan was safe. Just when Morgan thought she could resume her march away from the castle she saw the Pegasus make a sharp turn before beginning a hasty descent towards her location. There was no doubt about it, she had been found.

"Dammit," Morgan swore as she rose to sit. There was no point in hiding now.

Before the winged-horse had even come to a complete stop, its rider leapt from its back, nearly crashing into Morgan in the process.

“Morgan, why’d you run off?” Cynthia asked, her face filled with worry. "We were so worried that something might have happened to you," she said, pulling her friend into a tight embrace. Morgan arms moved to hug her fellow Justice Cabal member back, but she couldn't find it in herself to reciprocate gesture. Instead, her arms slumped to her side.

“I just couldn't stay in the castle any longer," she said, her voice cracking.

“Because of your memories, right?” Cynthia asked as she finally broke the hug.

Morgan’s silence was the only answer she would ever need. It wasn't a secret, after all. Ever since they had come back, Morgan could barely get a proper night's rest, much less look at some of them in the eye.

“Morgan, listen,” the Pegasus Knight said, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Whatever happened, it’s not your fault. You were under that stupid Grima’s mind control. None of us blame you.”

“But I…” Morgan couldn't get the rest of her statement out. All she could do was look down at her hands. She could feel the weight of the axe she hefted that day. Hear the claps of thunder and pounding rain. Worst of all, she could remember smiling, and how good it felt to please her lord and master. So much blood was on her hands.

“No buts!” Cynthia said, placing her hand on her hips and puffing out her cheeks. “You don't have to go through this all alone.”

“But I killed Ylissean soldiers!” Morgan cried. “Inigo, Owain, Yarne, and Brady! I killed them all!” her voice was trembling. The memory of it all was far too much.

“But that wasn't you,” Cynthia said with a smile. “Not the brilliant Morgan we know, anyway.”

“Yes it-”

“NOPE!” Cynthia said, cutting Morgan off before she could even argue. "You, the Morgan from _this_ time, I know would never do anything to hurt her friends."

Morgan bit her lip. Cynthia was right. She couldn't fathom arguing with her friends, much less fighting and killing them.

“You have to focus on the bright side," the Pegasus Knight continued. "Like how all of us are still with you here and now.”

Cynthia's normally jubilant expression hardened and became uncharacteristically dark. "That’s what I did. At least that's what the other me had do…”

Morgan's mouth went dry. This was the first time she had ever seen Cynthia, the most exuberant member of the Cabal trio, so overcome by gloom and distraught. “...What do you mean?” Morgan asked, a brow raised.

“I still remember that time too." Cynthia massaged her arm, looking off to what she wished was a far-off memory. "It's not something you can easily forget.”

Morgan’s breath caught in her throat. She had thought she was the only one. She had been so busy avoiding the others, obsessing over her own night terrors, that she didn't have time to ask if they remembered what happened.

“Noire, Nah, Kjelle, myself and my partner here," she began as she strode over to her Pegasus, stroking its mane. “While trying to recover those sacred stone thingies for Lucina...we got cornered.” Her tone fell, her lips quivered, and tears welled up in her eyes. “Surrounded by Risen...our weapons taken from us. It was terrifying. We did everything we could, just to stay alive.”

Morgan could see her shaking. She swore could even hear Cynthia sniffling.

“I tried to stay positive for them, I really did. I promised them we’d make it out together…”

Morgan asked the dreaded question. “...Did you?”

“Sometimes,” Cynthia said with sigh. “Sometimes our parents swoop in and save me and maybe one of the others. Sometimes they save all of us...and sometimes…” she didn't finish her statement, but the way she tightly gripped her Pegasus' reins as her body shook tells Morgan everything.

The pain, anguish and suffering that made up that time, Morgan knows it all too well how much it hurt to have those memories.

“I didn't know,” Morgan said, dejection in her eyes.

“It’s not your fault,” Cynthia said. with a sniff. She wiped away any stray tears before she turned to face Morgan. “We can’t imagine what you’re going through, but we want you to know that we’re always here if you need us.”

“...Thanks,” Morgan could barely grumble out. She felt like garbage. Her friends were suffering just as much as she was, yet she hadn't even noticed.

“Buck up!” Cynthia said as she slapped Morgan across the back. “The Justice Cabal is never alone!” she exclaimed, her singsong tone returning.

Morgan let out a laugh. “Thanks,” she said again, this time with a bit more cheer, as she wiped her cheek. She was feeling a little better.

* * *

The flight back to the castle was a quiet one, the atmosphere heavy as they tried not to focus too much on what they discussed. When they arrived back in the castle’s courtyard there's a red haired shieldmaiden waiting for them with arms crossed and a sour look on her face.

Cynthia heroically leaps from the back of her Pegasus as she beats her chest. “Ta-Dah! I have retrieved the Mor-”

“You. Come with me,” Severa said, completely ignoring the Pegasus Knight as she roughly gripped Morgan by the collar of her coat. She dragged the poor girl off to only Naga knows where.

Their destined location ended up being atop the castle's battlement. Once they arrived, Severa released her hold on Morgan's coat and walked a few feet before freezing in her tracks as she glared at the ground.

Morgan straightened herself, running a hand through her hair, before asking, "What's going on? Why did you bring me here?"

"Because this is where I died," Severa said, as blunt as could be.

"W-where you what?" Morgan stammered out.

"You heard me," Severa said as she spun around, a fire in her eyes. "This is where I died, right here. I don't know about the others, but I don't make it through our fight here."

Morgan's mouth fell open, she searched for words but found none.

Severa clicked her tongue. "Sometimes it's an arrow through my chest or knife in my back." Her hands moved to her stomach as her face twisted in pain. "The times I get run through were the worst."

"...I'm sorry," Morgan mouthed.

"Don't apologize to me!" Severa snapped. "Because if this were still that time, I'd do it again," the redhead said, her eyes burning with intensity. "Every time it happened it's because I jumped in front of Lucina and I wouldn't hesitate doing it again!"

Morgan fell quiet, unable to look at her. Severa was so intense, so unyielding before the horror of her memories. "But...isn't it scary?"

"Of course it is, you idiot!" she spat. "Look," she began, but this time her voice was softer. "Since we've come back, this is actually my first time coming up here. It's terrifying to know that right here I meet my end, but at the same time it's kinda comforting."

"Comforting?" Morgan asked, a look of bewilderment on her face.

"Yeah," Severa nodded. "It's comforting to stand here knowing that we saw the worst of it all. We saw our world end before our eyes, yet, somehow, we beat it." Severa's brow unknitted as she put a hand on her hip, and a smile spread on her lips. "And we'll beat this: these memories, this pain we feel. We'll beat it all and live in this better world we created." Severa stepped close to Morgan and pulled her into a tight hug. "You've been really strong for trying to face this all on your own. But I'm sure feather-brain told you that you've got us. We know you're strong and smart, and we've depended on you to be the brains of our strategies, but you need to depend on us too."

Morgan began to lightly sob into Severa's shoulder. Morgan was about to return the gesture when Sevara shoved her away, almost knocking the tactician over.

"Don't let me spoil the mood," a voice said with a chuckle.

Morgan froze. Her heart sank in her chest. _Not you. Please not you,_ she thought.

Morgan's gaze crawled upwards to see the blonde leader of the Justice Cabal, Owain, saluting them from the battlement's entrance way, standing before them. "Heard you ran away," he said with a smirk.

Morgan took a step back, a hand clutching at her thumping heart. If everyone else remembered, he remembered. The image of what could have been Owain's final moment flashed in Morgan's mind.

_The shattering of Owain's trusted sword._

_The feel of her axe slicing through him._

_Owain's expression of agony as he fell to the ground._

_And the smile of ecstasy that she wore._

"What do you want?" Severa asked with her arms crossed, doing her best to not appear embarrassed.

"I came to speak to Morgan," he said, stepping toward them, one hand gripping the sheath of his sword. "Well, not really talk."

"Owain!" Severa shouted, stepping in front of him. "What are you doing? You're scaring her!"

"This is between Morgan and me," Owain hissed.

Morgan swallowed hard. "Do you hate me Owain?" Morgan asked, her voice shaking.

"You, Morgan? No." Owain's eyes narrowed, giving Morgan a glare that she'd only seen him give his enemies. "But I _do_ hate the evil that's inside of you." His words were like a knife in Morgan's chest, far sharper than any blade could ever be.

"Owain!" Severa called out, but her voice fell on deaf ears.

"I'm sorry," Morgan said with a sniff. "I'm sorry for what I did to you. I'm sorry for everything that happened. I'm so sorry." Morgan was genuinelycrying now, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Save your tears," Owain growled as he fell into a stance to draw his sword. "You'll pay for your sins with your life, agent of Grima!"

"Owain, that's enough!" Severa barked as she reached for her sword, only to have her hand caught by another. She looked over her shoulder to see Kjelle shaking her head, the rest of their friends standing behind him. "Let me go, Kjelle! I have to stop him before Morgan gets hurt!"

But Kjelle would not stay her grip. "This is between the two of them. Whatever happens, happens."

"It's okay Severa," Morgan said as she wiped her eyes one final time.  She looked at the back of her hand, the place where the mark of the Fell Dragon had once appeared. "I betrayed my friends. I've hurt all of you...this is what I deserve." Morgan gave the warmest smile she could before facing Owain. "I'm ready."

Owain nodded, respecting Morgan's resolve. "Come, my sword hand, let us disperse this evil! Evil banishing slash!"

Morgan closed her eyes as Owain dashed toward her. The last thing she heard was a scream of horror, then all was silent and she dropped to her knees.

"Behold!" Owain's voice exclaimed. "I have vanquished the evil."

Morgan's eyes snapped open. She checked her body for wounds, but found nothing. "I...I don't understand."

"It's my ultimate technique," Owain said, stroking his chin. "A slash so quick that it only cuts away the evil inside someone, leaving them without injury." He nodded to himself, admiring his own skill. "I wanted to use it when you fought for Grima, but you were lucky enough to be caught by surprise before I could use it. Not a feat many could accomplish."

_WHAM!_

"You idiot!" Severa shouted. Her fist connected with his cheek. "Do you know how worried I was! And you guys..." She turned to face everyone else. "You knew about this didn't you?" Everyone's terrible attempt to feign ignorance was the only clue she needed. They all were in on it.

"What's it matter?" Owain shrugged. "Morgan's free from her horrid nightmares," he said as he placed a hand on the girls back. "Now she can return to her duties as a member of the Justice Cabal."

There was moment of silence. Then there was a snicker, then came a giggle, which became a guffaw, and finally evolved into full blown laughter. It was Morgan. She was laughing for first time in a long time.

"Dog pile on Morgan!" Cynthia shouted as mass of bodies piled atop the strategist: Lucina, Gerome and Laurent all choosing to remain out of the writing mass of bodies.

Morgan asked herself how she could have been so blind. These were her friends, a motley crew of individuals who were tied together by a crazy tale of fate. Tears of glee gathered up in her eyes as she was surrounded by people who loved her. Why did she worry so? These people were her friends, her family. They would forgive her for anything she could have done.

_Dad, I know you're gone_... Morgan prayed as she was met with a barrage of hugs. _But thank you for a future that I can enjoy with the people I love._

**END**


End file.
